If Things Had Been Different
by Sixteen Candl3s
Summary: One Shot — Jude suddenly realized that kissing Tommy was different from kissing Shay. With Shay, Jude felt obligated. With Shay, Jude felt awkward. But, with Tommy, Jude felt alive. With Tommy, Jude felt passion. With Tommy, Jude felt... love.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Instant Star or any of its characters. And I sure as hell don't own _Alexz Johnson_'s song, "**Time To Be Your 21**" either.

**Author's Note:** This is a _re-telling_ of episode number 8. For those of you who don't know what episode I'm talking about, the title of the episode is named **"**Unsweet Sixteen**".**

Which is basically where..._ Jude's Sweet Sixteen is going to be the party of a lifetime—her CD is amazing, her boyfriend will be back from tour. Nothing could possibly go wrong. _

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_Italicized_—Flashbacks

**Bold**—Thoughts

**_Bold and Italicized_**—Song Lyrics

"Blah... Blah... Blah..."—Talking

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**If Things Had Been Different**

It was raining. Rain that perfectly suited her mood.

Sixteen-year-old Jude Harrison was hurt—_beyond _hurt. To Jude, life was not fair when one was having a sweet sixteen and heard the words;

_"I kind of met someone..."_

_"How kind of?" Jude couldn't help but ask._

_A knock on the door startled __both __Jude and Shay._

_"One sec," Jude called out offhandedly, turning to look at Shay. _

_But it seemed the person at the door couldn't wait because the door slid open. And that someone—a distinct feminine someone—cleared their throat rather loudly, catching both Jude and Shay off-guard once more._

_Turning to her head, Jude was surprised to see... "Eden?" _

_Shay was surprised as well, but for an altogether different reason._

_"I thought you were going to stay in the limo," Shay said, his words holding a distinct ring of anger to them._

_"While you chat with your **ex**-girlfriend? **Right**," Eden said, her plump lips curling into a cruel smile when she saw her rival's shocked face._

_"**Ex**-girlfriend?" Jude asked, hurt shining in her blue eyes as they sought and found Shay's guilty brown ones._

_Jude didn't wait for Shay's explanation as she walked out of G-Major's conference room._

Trying to blink away the onslaught of tears, Jude sniffled and looked up towards the sky as hot tears slid down her jaw line and beyond. It didn't help much when Shay chased after her, trying to explain the situation.

_"Jude, I am **so** sorry. I didn't mean for it to happen like that," Shay said, following Jude into another room._

_"For what to happen?" Jamie asked. _

_Jude turned her head to the side, surprised she hadn't noticed him before._

_"Am I talking to you screech?" Shay asked Jamie, completely aggravated. _

_But as he turned back to look at Jude, his face immediately changed into a passive one. _

_"Eden was the opening act on my tour and when people spend that much time together, **stuff** happens."_

_Jude's tears were freely running down her cheeks by then, __"So break up with her!"_

_She shook her head at Shay, the betrayal she felt; burning brightly in her blue irises. _

_"All this talk about how I make you a better guy..."_

_"**You do!** But Eden makes me feel cool just the way I am," Shay said, and Jude felt as if all the air had been knocked out of her._

_Jude shook her head at Shay, and walked past both Jamie and Kat, __whom were kissing seconds before..._

After what seemed like an eternity spent alone with her thoughts and the rain that always seemed to follow her, the alley door opened.

Upon hearing the door from the alley open, Jude raised heavy lashed, startling turquoise eyes to meet the keen regard of Tom Quincy.

Tom Quincy was Jude's producer, co-writer, and partner and was currently unbuttoning the jacket of his suit.

Jude's eyes gave away all evidence of the quaking turmoil that had been threatening to break loose from a place deep within her.

Leveling her gaze with Tommy's, Jude broke the silence between them in a wobbly, unsteady tone that indicated all her chaotic feelings.

"Go ahead. Tell me I told you so," Jude looked away from Tommy, her heartbeat quickening on impulse.

Jude was surprised when she felt Tommy put the jacket of his suit on her soaked back.

Faintly, Jude realized her dress was ruined, her pretty hair style—that took her hours to do—was ruined and for some strange reason, all she could do was think about Tommy _and_ Shay.

"For what it's worth, Shay's a kid and an idiot," Tommy's raspy and startling deep baritone voice penetrated Jude's senses and made her realize, once again, what had happened minutes before.

Jude whimpered and sniffled before Tommy continued, "And he made the _wrong_ choice."

Somehow Tommy's words did not console Jude, but only made her feel more insecure.

Thoughts like **how would_ you_ know?** and **you're not Shay, so you can't speak for him** plagued Jude's mind.

Jude rested her arm on the railing of the alley, before placing her head in the palm of her hand.

"That's not much coming from _you_," Jude said, her words coming out in a sneer.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Tommy asked, taking offense to what she had just said.

Jude sighed and began to tell Tommy how she felt; all of her inner turmoil tumbling out of her mouth in a bunch of words.

"I'm so tired of falling for guy's who don't fall back. It _hurts_..."

"Jude, I—" Tommy started, but was cut off when Jude began to rant.

"You all say the nicest things. You're so great. You're so nice, but none of you want to date me! So you want to help me, Tommy? Tell me what I do wrong. Tell me why I'm so easy to give up, and then maybe I can fix it," Jude looked up, finally summoning her courage to look at Tommy.

Jude saw the tenseness in Tommy's jaw, the rigid way he stood, and the way his knuckles turned white from gripping the railing.

"_You. Are. Asking. The. **Wrong.** Guy_!" Tommy answered, his breathing labored.

Suddenly, Tommy grabbed a hold of Jude's elbows in a harsh manner, and pulled her body flush against his own as his mouth ruthlessly kissed her own.

Stunned for a moment, Jude could only stare at Tommy as he kissed her.

She didn't move a muscle as his fingers suddenly loosened their hold on her elbows.

And suddenly, Jude kissed him back because she_ wanted_ to. Because she _knew_ that a chance like this might never come again. And as her eyes shut she savored this moment _forever_.

And as they kissed each other, to Jude, it seemed as though their kiss lasted forever, but in reality was merely seconds long.

And Jude suddenly realized kissing Tommy was so _different_ from kissing Shay. With Shay, Jude felt obligated to kiss him. With Shay, Jude felt awkward.

But with Tommy, Jude felt _alive._ With Tommy, Jude felt _passion._ With Tommy, Jude felt _love._

Suddenly, Tommy pulled back, allowing Jude to catch her breath. Their breaths mingled together and suddenly, Tommy kissed Jude again.

But unlike the first kiss, Jude felt a change occur within Tommy. The mouth that had—at first—swooped over hers like a hard, punishing thing began to work more slowly.

Tommy's lips became softer, and more pliant as they molded Jude's in warm, sensual movements.

Under this gentler onslaught, Jude found her mouth opening to Tommy's, admitting the light thrust of his questing tongue. When Tommy's tongue touched the tip of Jude's, she felt a fire ignite in an unfamiliar coil of pleasure at the base of her belly, and she shuddered.

Jude quickly allowed her wet, nimble fingers slide over Tommy's broad shoulders, stopping to rest on his chest, eliciting a groan from him.

And suddenly, they were pulling away from each other once more.

There was a flutter of dusky lashes for several seconds before Jude raised her eyes to gaze at Tommy.

He kept his eyes shut for a moment, savoring what his other senses brought him; the sound of the rain pelting their skin, the scent of roses carried by the breeze of Jude's soft skin, the feel of her silken dress brushing against him.

Suddenly, his eyes snapped open as he fully savored this last impression and as Jude opened her mouth to speak, the graffiti covered door of the alley had opened.

Both Jude and Tommy turned to see an old man and a young woman staring at them in mild shock. It was only seconds later that the old man ushered—what Jude thought to be—his granddaughter away.

Once again, they were left in their own privacy.

Jude's fingers slid down Tommy's black and white striped shirt as he pulled away from her; Tommy's breathing was once again labored.

"You should go Jude," Tommy said, swallowing the lump in his throat.

"Tommy, don't!" Jude pleaded, unwilling to let go of the magic they'd just shared moments ago.

"I'll see you inside, okay?" Tommy asked, nodding his head in reassurance.

Suddenly, Jude understood why Tommy was behaving this way and she nodded her head.

"Just go," Tommy begged, his voice taking on a rough edge.

Jude shivered from both Tommy's words and the rain, but answered with an "okay" as she walked away from him.

He didn't see the tears streaming down her cheeks, nor did he notice the way she gazed at him sadly as he swooned and grabbed ahold of the railing. He did, however, hear the door shut.

Tommy shook his head and berated himself, **I'm twenty-two and she's sixteen! What was I thinking?**

Tommy stayed outside for a little bit longer, and as the rain pelted his body unmercifully, he took it as a sign of chastisity.

Tommy would not allow himself to go back inside G-Major without knowing what he was going to tell Jude, no matter how much he wanted to be with her...

**xXx**

It was a couple of hours later when people began to leave Jude's party.

Jude was sitting in one of the chairs from Studio B and listening to the demo of "Time To Be Your 21".

Suddenly, Jude heard footsteps and lifted her blue eyes to look at Tommy who was coming toward her.

Masculine perfection met Jude's eyes in a symmetrical blending of features that could have been the model for classical statues of old—a wide, handsome brow fringed by the spiky black hair; a straight, chiseled nose that harmonized with the wide, sensual mouth; a firm, cleft chin that bespoke strength and perhaps a bit of stubbornness; and then there were his eyes!

Jude loved Tommy's eyes.

They were of a rich, sea-green turquoise that were heavily lashed and ever so slightly deep-set; but beyond this, they were far more than a summation of their color and shape. There was something disturbing and yet equally compelling about them, and Jude found herself curious over the complex mysteries she sensed in their depths.

They were the eyes of a man who had seen and tasted much, yet yearned for something more, and with this longing came a tinge of sadness. Jude quickly averted her eyes away from Tommy's before she could think more about his eyes.

**_Time to be your only one..._**

"The party's pretty much over. People are clearing out. Look, about before in the alley..." Tommy paused, unsure of what to say.

"I really don't know what to say," Tommy answered honestly.

**_To almost be you're way too young..._**

"Come on Tommy. I think we both know what you want to say. It was a mistake, right? Just a _pity_ kiss. You don't feel the same way I do because I'm _just_ a kid. Just_ say _it! _Lie _to me," Jude whimpered, her voice thick with tears.

Tommy sighed, unable to tell Jude how he felt.

**_Time to crash into the sun..._**

"Either I have to quit working with you or I can stay. But we have to agree that that kiss had _never_ happened," Tommy said, his voice taking on a compassionate ring as he lowered himself to look Jude in the eye.

**_Time to be your 21..._**

Observing the incomparable beauty of the tiny woman before him, Tommy realized she was exquisite with her cheeks tinted in a rosy flush, red bangs matting her face and pieces of her hair framing her face from where they escaped the elegant twist of her hair style.

And her eyes—when she raised them to his own briefly—were the same hue they'd assumed when she gazed at him with adoration...

Cursing, Tommy looked away from Jude and reminded himself, **she's just a child!**

**_Time to dream that love will last..._**

"I know," Jude said, her tears coming out harder.

"Jude, say it," Tommy urged, taking hold of her wrists and pulling her out of the chair.

**_Time to drive my car too fast..._**

"Okay. Okay._ Okay!_" Jude took a few deep breaths, trying to force the words out of her mouth for Tommy's sake.

"It never happened. Okay?" Jude asked, nodding her head as she pulled her wrists away from Tommy's hands.

She began to walk out of Studio B, but a conversation from earlier stopped her.

**_Time to walk before I run..._**

_"I'm not even hearing this," Tommy muttered, walking away from Kwest._

_"Yo, listen man! I know you, all right? You're falling for this girl. Now, I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to hit that i-in another few years," Kwest said, leveling his gaze with Tommy's._

_"Look, that's not even what this is about. Kwest man, you think I'm okay with this? Huh? That the coolest chick I know, the girl who gets me the most is **sixteen!** Give me a break, man. She's out of bounds and I'm not that guy," Tommy said harshly._

_"Good..." Kwest said, pausing. __"But if she was twenty-one?"_

_"In a split second," Tommy answered honestly._

**_Time to be..._**

"Tommy?" Jude called, unable to face him.

"Yeah?" Tommy answered.

"If things had been different... if I were twenty-one, would things be different? That is, would things be different between you and I?" Jude asked, not daring to breathe.

Tommy watched Jude through clouded eyes.

"If things had been different... if you were twenty-one Judel we wouldn't have to act this way. If you were twenty-one, then I wouldn't feel so _damned_ guilty. But things aren't different," Tommy answered truthfully, his eyes inexplicably softening.

"Thanks Tommy," Jude whispered.

And as Jude walked away from Tommy, she thought to herself, **if things had been different, then perhaps we wouldn't have to pretend.**

**_Oh, time to be your 21..._**

_End. _


End file.
